PG&E Announces 500-year Power Outage To Mitigate Fire Risk
SANTA ROSA, CA— Utility company PG&E has announced today that it plans to shut off power temporarily for a period of at least 500 years
Twitter CEO Reaffirms More Ads Will Not Degrade Experience Of Reading Your Uncle’s Xenophobic Tirades
SAN FRANCISCO, CA— Twitter’s (NYSE: TWTR) stock plummeted by over 20% yesterday after a disastrous earnings report, following a slowdown in revenue growth and issues
Desperate WeWork Employees Set Remaining Cash On Fire To Stay Warm
NEW YORK, NEW YORK— Amidst a whirlwind of layoffs, the ejection of CEO Adam Neumann, and a last-minute bailout by SoftBank, WeWork’s remaining employees have
Boeing Silenced Warning Messages From Test Pilots: “This Thing Could Totally Crash”
CHICAGO, IL— In a startling development, the FAA has accused Boeing (NYSE: BA) of silencing comments from its own test pilots about the safety of
These Companies Are Hiring Like Crazy (Not You) In 2019
There are dozens of hot companies that are hiring hundreds of new employees in 2019, and qualified professionals (definitely not you) should keep them on
Companies Open To Interviewing Applicants With Resumé Gaps As Long As Two Weeks
Due to today’s tight labor market, companies are beginning to be more flexible about interviewing candidates with gaps in their resumés- even as long as
Apple Increases Productivity By 20% After Developing Foldable Engineers
CUPERTINO, CA— Apple has announced the completion of a previously top-secret R&D project focused on creating totally foldable software engineers. “We’re so excited to announce
In Leaked Audio, Mark Zuckerberg’s CPU Plays Off Question About Brain-Computer Interface Research
MENLO PARK, CA- In a recent interview with Business Outsider, Facebook chief executive Mark Zuckerberg’s central processing unit played off a pointed question about the
A New Type Of Microdosing: Palo Alto Kindergarten Teacher Praised For Innovative Teaching Method
Palo Alto, CA — This year, a new class of incoming kindergarten students at a Palo Alto School was gifted with a new kind of
Netflix Maintains Illusion Of Entertainment Through Mass Hypnosis
As the entertainment industry completes its pivot to a streaming model, Netflix has kept its competitive edge by lulling users into a false sense of