Spotify Commits To Content Moderation Policies That Maximize Profits
NEW YORK CITY—Shortly after podcast celebrity Joe Rogan hosted controversial public figure Alex Jones on his show, there was a resurgence of protests from Spotify …
Category: TECH
Awesome Jetpack Startup Shuttered After Dumb Snitch Sues Over Torn Off Leg
Absolutely badass startup Gravity Industries, known for their wicked sick jetpack, was forced to shut their doors last Friday after some nerd named Thomas sued …
North Korean ICBM Revealed to Be Giant, Hyper-Realistic Cake
Pyongyang, North Korea—Last week, North Korea displayed what at first appeared to be its most powerful intercontinental ballistic missile yet, but was later revealed to …
Dead Amazon Worker Found Among Surplus Halloween Supplies
CHATSWORTH, CA—Amy Haversheim, self-described professional dumpster diver and vegan, was searching through dumpsters behind Amazon when she discovered a skeleton and two mangled bodies amongst …
ISS Crew Member Arrested After Attempting To Use False Identity To Vote A Second Time Over The Phone
LOW EARTH ORBIT—The Space Force has made its first arrest. American astronaut Kimberly Guilfoyle was arrested early yesterday after attempting to vote twice in the …
Animal Crossing Enhances Realism With New Euthanization Feature
KYOTO, JAPAN—Nintendo today announced that the upcoming Animal Crossing: New Horizons update will introduce a permadeath feature to mimic the devastating loss that comes with …
Rights To Quibi’s “Die Hart” Now For Sale On eBay
Quibi Holdings LLC, the now defunct streaming service that launched just six months ago, has started the process of liquidating its assets as part of …
Apple’s New Ankle Watch Will Disrupt The House Arrest Economy
Cupertino CA—This past Tuesday, thousands of Apple fans watched from home as the company announced its new product line of smart ankle monitors. The product …
Should You Tip Your Bird Scooter?
The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own. Business Outsider does not endorse nor support views, opinions or conclusions drawn in this post …
Elizabeth Holmes May Use Psychopathic Narcissist Defense In Theranos Case: “Just Look Into Her Eyes”
PALO ALTO, CA—In one of the most catastrophic Silicon Valley startup debacles in recent memory, Theranos’ founder and ex-CEO Elizabeth Holmes is being criminally charged …