SAN FRANCISCO, CA— Twitter’s (NYSE: TWTR) stock plummeted by over 20% yesterday after a disastrous earnings report, following a slowdown in revenue growth and issues
Category: STARTUPS & VC
Desperate WeWork Employees Set Remaining Cash On Fire To Stay Warm
NEW YORK, NEW YORK— Amidst a whirlwind of layoffs, the ejection of CEO Adam Neumann, and a last-minute bailout by SoftBank, WeWork’s remaining employees have
These Companies Are Hiring Like Crazy (Not You) In 2019
There are dozens of hot companies that are hiring hundreds of new employees in 2019, and qualified professionals (definitely not you) should keep them on
Companies Open To Interviewing Applicants With Resumé Gaps As Long As Two Weeks
Due to today’s tight labor market, companies are beginning to be more flexible about interviewing candidates with gaps in their resumés- even as long as
Apple Increases Productivity By 20% After Developing Foldable Engineers
CUPERTINO, CA— Apple has announced the completion of a previously top-secret R&D project focused on creating totally foldable software engineers. “We’re so excited to announce
In Leaked Audio, Mark Zuckerberg’s CPU Plays Off Question About Brain-Computer Interface Research
MENLO PARK, CA- In a recent interview with Business Outsider, Facebook chief executive Mark Zuckerberg’s central processing unit played off a pointed question about the
Hackathon Winner Dragged Away By NSA Agents, Laptop Confiscated
SAN JOSE, CA— After an intense weekend of coding, a 26-year-old software developer participating in an annual Hackathon event was knocked unconscious by agents from
Entire Office Stumped Trying To Fix Glitchy Software Developer
Austin, TX— Atlassian employees were utterly baffled yesterday when software developer, Samantha Goldstein, began glitching for seemingly no reason. “She was working fine all day,
Juul Introduces New Standards To Restrict Sales To Non-Douchebags
PALO ALTO, CA— Juul announced today that it has implemented new security features to restrict online sales of the company’s products to normal people that
Dow Plummets 800 Points As Investors Reconsider If Snapchat Actually Does Anything
NEW YORK, NY— The Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA) plummeted over 800 points today as investors reconsidered whether or not companies like Snapchat (NYSE: SNAP)