Salesforce Acquires Your Mom
SCHENECTADY, NY—Salesforce announced today that it will be strategically entering your personal life by acquiring your mother (NYSE: MOM). Rumors of a pending deal surfaced …
Author: Paige Kouba
Zoom Rolls Out Virtual Foregrounds for Unphotogenic Users
SAN JOSE, CA—Shares in video conferencing powerhouse Zoom (NASDAQ: ZM) soared today after a software update introduced new features for optimizing users’ aesthetic experience. Zoom …
Measles Virus (MSLS) Announces IPO After Unexpected Fourth-Quarter Gains
The measles virus (NASDAQ: MSLS) will unveil an initial public offering valued at $2.6 billion in the coming weeks, according to sources familiar with the …
North Korean ICBM Revealed to Be Giant, Hyper-Realistic Cake
Pyongyang, North Korea—Last week, North Korea displayed what at first appeared to be its most powerful intercontinental ballistic missile yet, but was later revealed to …