4 of 5 Dentists Bribed To Recommend Trident Gum
Scarsdale, New York—Dr. Ely Finckle, DDS. has a devastating announcement for the millions of Trident gum fans he’s lied to. He claims that he and …
Author: Max Weinstein
Chevron Pledges To Go Carbon Neutral By 3030
Chevron CEO Michael Wirth surprised investors yesterday with the announcement that Chevron will go completely carbon neutral by 3030. “We here at Chevron have made …
Dead Amazon Worker Found Among Surplus Halloween Supplies
CHATSWORTH, CA—Amy Haversheim, self-described professional dumpster diver and vegan, was searching through dumpsters behind Amazon when she discovered a skeleton and two mangled bodies amongst …
ISS Crew Member Arrested After Attempting To Use False Identity To Vote A Second Time Over The Phone
LOW EARTH ORBIT—The Space Force has made its first arrest. American astronaut Kimberly Guilfoyle was arrested early yesterday after attempting to vote twice in the …
Should You Tip Your Bird Scooter?
The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own. Business Outsider does not endorse nor support views, opinions or conclusions drawn in this post …
“Amazon Time” Now Promises Previous Day Delivery
Amazon has released its new premium feature, previous day delivery. This comes after community complaints of Amazon Prime no longer honoring 2-day delivery. This introduction …
For The First Time In 51 Years, The Gap Will Endorse A Presidential Candidate
In its 51 years of operations, Americana retailer The Gap (NYSE: GPS) has never endorsed a political candidate. 2020 is a year of many firsts, …
ISIS Takes Credit For Zoom Bombing
KANSAS CITY, MI— ISIS is claiming responsibility for the horrific Zoom bombing of an online all-women’s book, wine, and charcuterie club. During the call, the …
“I am God!” And Other Highlights From The Senate’s Libra Hearing
Today, the Senate conducted a hearing in which it received testimony from Facebook executives on the company’s new cryptocurrency initiative. All times listed are local. …