4 of 5 Dentists Bribed To Recommend Trident Gum

Scarsdale, New York—Dr. Ely Finckle, DDS. has a devastating announcement for the millions of Trident gum fans he’s lied to. He claims that he and 3 other Dentists were illegally bribed to recommend Trident in 1964.

His announcement came just hours before his death:

“When Trident first presented us with the idea of recommending gum to clean your teeth, we laughed at them. Gum is candy! What kind of dentist recommends candy? We laughed in their faces. We just kept laughing for a few minutes. What’s next, Twizzlers for floss? Then they backed a semi-truck full of cash into my driveway. They told us the money wouldn’t stop and neither would the fame. We were going to be the most famous dentists since John Molar and Steve Incisor. The next thing I knew, all my patients were chewing the stuff! Only one of us dentists were brave enough to resist their bribery. Poor Albert McGreggor, DDS. He was the only one of us who held onto his integrity. He paid with his life. Trident’s lawyers pushed him into a vat of gum. I watched him drown for 7 hours. I have never been able to forget him. I am finally speaking my truth, and unlike the flavor of Trident, the truth will last forever.”

Dr. Finckle passed in bed at his estate at 2:30 pm January 10th, 2021 at age 86. He chose to end his life after complications from surgery on a massive cavity left him unable to chew. Unfortunately, his top-notch healthcare wasn’t enough to save him. His death was peaceful and attended only by close family. A representative for the Finckle family said, “We are happy to know he is in heaven, and he can finally feel what is like to chew 5 Gum.” Trident has not responded to any Business Outsider communications.

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