Chick-fil-A Launches The ‘White-Sauce Merry-Go-Round’ At Select Locations

When asked why they are willing to wait in line for hours, customers of Chick-fil-A inevitably mention the variety of sensual sauces. Now behold a new apparatus to complement your chicken sandwich experience: “The White-Sauce Merry-Go-Round.” 

A state-of-the-art carousel that disperses sauce directly onto your sandwich from the comfort of plastic horseback. With standard suspended flooring and rows of galloping horses, the carousel aligns to create the impression of a moving cavalry ready to shoot pre-loaded sauce right onto your sandwich at the push of a button. 

Supporters of Chick-fil-A’s anti-gay values protest the carousel citing that this new development elicits a provocative image of men in a circle performing carnal sins. CEO Dan T. Cathy assures investors that these critics have their heads in the gutter. He also notes that highly-paid focus groups consistently extol the Merry-Go-Round for aligning with the company’s moral compass. 

Cathy’s vision will soon become a nationwide reality as carousel productions see a local uptick across the Southern United States. In keeping up with the world’s demands, Cathy proves time and time again that a delicious product is always improved through a memorable experience.

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