Virgin Hyperloop Car Obliterates Mountain Lion Caught In Tube

LAS VEGAS, NV—A leaked video surfaced this week of a Virgin Hyperloop car vaporizing a Nevada mountain lion during a record-breaking speed test.

For months, the Virgin Hyperloop team had been planning to put their Nevada track to the ultimate speed test, pushing the limits of the technology to break a previously established top speed record of 507 mph. However, during the scheduled test, a wild mountain lion wandered onto the track after gaining entry to the tunnel through an unsecured safety hatch. 1500 FPS slow-motion footage captured from inside the tunnel showed the moment of impact where the pod instantaneously separated the lion’s soul from its body.

A Virgin post-mortem report detailed that, at the time of the collision, the hyperloop pod was nearing supersonic speed at 613 miles per hour. This, coupled with the fact that the mountain lion was approaching its own top speed of 50 miles per hour in the opposite direction, led to destructive physics that were “simply spectacular,” as one Virgin engineer put it. In an instant, the speeding pod converted the lion from solid matter to pure liquid viscera and vaporized bone. Practically all the blood from the mountain lion was sucked through the vacuum-sealed tube, following the pod in a spiral vortex, creating a gruesome contrail along the inner tube that arrived with the pod at the finish line.

After the video was leaked to social media, wildlife conservationists took to the internet to protest and demand Virgin build nature bridges around hyperloop tracks that cross through natural habitats. Virgin responded in defense of the incident and claimed that judging from the sheer speed of the kill, wildlife lovers can rest assured that the mountain lion felt at most 0.05 seconds of pain.

As of this morning, the lion explosion video has reached 666,079 views on Facebook after being re-shared by the mildly-popular, Wisconsin-based death metal group ‘SlutChurch’.

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