LOS ANGELES, CA—In celebration of their Black Friday sales event, electronics superstore Best Buy (NYSE: BBY) announced it will be offering up to 75% off Puritan Bennett 840 mechanical ventilators. Usually $149,999.99, these life-saving machines will be selling for their lowest price ever of just $37,499. In response, crowds of customers, many of them doctors, could be seen camping outside the LA Best Buy across the street from Business Outsider HQ.
“When I heard about the ventilator deal, I immediately drove down to the store to camp out,” said area plumber Ron Jensen, who was spotted camping outside the store in a small tent. “I have no use for a mechanical ventilator myself, but I sold my spot in line at the first iPhone event for like $300 so I’m sure I can get at least $4000 for this spot,” he said while warming his hands by a garbage can fire outside his tent and eating a can of Bush’s baked beans.
A Best Buy saleswoman expressed the unprecedented demand for the product. “This is a once in a lifetime deal, literally. In fact, a few people succumbed to pneumonia while they were waiting in line outside the store this morning,” she said, somberly. She paused for a moment taking in a deep, shaky sigh. Then her smile returned as she continued. “And don’t be put off by this dirt-cheap price, these are top of the line ventilators. High-performance pneumatics, dual-microprocessor electronics, and the new models even come with a cup holder. Plus, the first fifty orders come with free in-home intubation.”
At press time, a Geek Squad truck was seen peeling out of the Best Buy parking lot to service a ventilator that had failed just hours after purchase.