“You’ve Served Me Well” Says Elon Musk To Nikola CEO After Removing Neuralink Chip From Spine

PHOENIX, AZ—Hours after Nikola CEO Trevor Milton voluntarily stepped down from his role at the electric truck startup, he abruptly awoke from a years-long semiconscious dream state in underground warehouse where Elon Musk crushed a tiny chip, presumably created by his brain chip startup Neuralink, in front of him.

“Milton, Milton, Milton. Welcome back,” he said, while his laughs echoed around the damp and dimly lit room. “You’ve served me well Milton, and I want to thank you. All those elaborate lies you told. The fake video you filmed of your pathetic truck rolling down a hill. Hiring your degenerate whore-fucking brother to make cheap hydrogen to power your so-called vehicles. They’ve benefited Tesla greatly. And, now it is time for me to set you free from my control as I have no more use for you.”

Nikola, a public company worth over $10 billion, has been under constant scrutiny from the journalists, investors, and Wall Street alike for making claims about their proprietary technology that are highly exaggerated at best and fraudulent at worst.

“Wait, what are you talking about? Where am I?” responded Milton, adding that the last thing he remembered was going to dinner with Musk to discuss a potential acquisition over 4 years ago when Nikola was still a fledgling startup. “I would never make those claims that you speak of… what did you do Elon? God dammit Elon! What have you done to me? To my company?” he screamed louder as Musk responded by laughing harder in response.

At press time, Musk was seen eating dinner with a hot new automotive truck startup to discuss potential partnership opportunities.

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