Man Spending $20,000 A Month On Marketing Software Finally Has Idea For Product To Sell

After three years spent crafting a marketing behemouth that costs $20,000 a month to maintain, this week Vermont native Sylvester Cunningham finally had the idea for a product to sell. After careful market research using the most premium enterprise subscriptions to both Qualtrics and Gartner, Mr. Cunningham was confident that the best product for his funnel was a sleeveless shirt that says “Sun’s out, Guns out.”

“I’ve read every book by Russell Brunson, I’ve watched every Udemy and YouTube video I could find, I finally felt I’d gathered enough information and it was time to start selling,” said Cunningham, before downing an entire RedBull. He went on to explain the depths of his marketing system. “Well at the top I’ve got Clickfunnels TwoCommaClubX edition, that takes care of my website, emailing, up-sells, affiliate marketing, etc. Then I also have to pay for my all my keyword searchers, my hashtag optimizers, my social media automation, my payment integrations, my coaching subscriptions, my personal assistant, plus some more behind the scenes stuff. I needed the domain Sylvestersthings.com and that cost like $5,000, but hey, you gotta spend money to make money right?” He said while opening another RedBull.

Cunningham’s roommate Jake spoke proudly of his friend’s progress, “Last year when ‘Vesty quit his job to work on this, I was worried for him. But man, if he sells just 200,000 of those shirts he’s gonna be a millionaire. He’s explained his system and there’s no way he’ll sell any less than that in the first month. Honestly, he’s one of the most inspirational people I know.”

Business Outsider reporters watched as Sylvester added the finishing touches to his new product page and began his first Facebook ad campaign. At the time of this article’s publishing, Cunningham was up to nearly $80 in sales against $4,000 ad spend.

Leave a Reply