SEATTLE, WA—Amazon recently received approval from the FAA to operate its delivery drones in commercial airspace, making the company one step closer to being able to drive a hot burrito into your open mouth without you ever having to lift a finger.
“We’re very excited about this development, and we’re going to continue working with the FAA to ensure all safety regulations are followed strictly. Getting a juicy steak burrito crammed down a user’s throat using an autonomous drone is no small feat, especially when you consider factors like trees, electrical lines, and the risk that the burrito may not be wrapped effectively. This could cause the contents to spill all over the customer’s sweat pants moments before it gets inserted into their gaping oral chasm,” said the lead engineer directing Amazon’s drone delivery team of over 200 people.
Some were not as excited at the possibility of drone burrito delivery.
“Look, I love good Mexican food. I just don’t want some machine prying open my jaw to send a piping hot chalupa hurtling toward my stomach. I’m fully capable of doing that myself!” said George Hughes, a 34-year-old software engineer based in Kansas City.
At press time, the lead engineer at the drone Amazon automation team threw a clipboard on the ground in frustration after a test unit jammed an enchilada down a dummy’s nose.