Snowden on Russia: “I’m So Bored Here, Everyone Already Knows The Government Is Watching Them” / CC-BY-SA-3.0

After years in exile from the United States, whistleblower Edward Snowden is looking for a new country to find asylum. “Russia is really boring”, he claims, “Apparently everyone here already knows that the government is spying on them.”

In the video the expatriated American explains that he secretly joined the KGB and proceeded to rise through the ranks of the military and eventually the Kremlin. He then methodically began to uncover a shady network of invasive surveillance of the citizens of Russia, which he then proceeded to leak to various outlets on the internet.

“Nothing happened!” he says in the video. “I got a few comments with laughing emojis but that’s it. At first I was super careful and covered my tracks, I only used a triple encrypted VPN to post my leaks. But then an oligarch came to my house and said he’d been following what I was doing from the beginning. He offered me some drinks then told me he liked my attitude before offering some criticisms to help make my leaks sound scarier.”

Snowden went on to explain that he eventually resolved to spread his message directly to the people. He made a cardboard sign and walked through Moscow telling what he knew to anyone who would listen. Instead of the anger and protest he hoped to incite, he was met with the indifference of a population to whom government corruption and surveillance are a given. He concluded the video saying, “I really can’t stand this place. Maybe I’ll head to New Zealand. There they still trust their government.”

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