With an important election just around the corner, it’s the perfect time for parents to get their kids excited about voter suppression! As a new parent myself, I scoured the internet to find some fun ways to participate in election meddling with my little one. Here are five fun ways to chisel away at the bedrock of democracy with your son or daughter.
1) Create Decoy Polling Places Around Town
There’s nothing kids love more than make-believe! Let your child’s imagination run free as they dream up ideas for fake polling places all around town! If your little rascal is the artsy type, you can even work with them to make knock-off road signs to drive traffic away from real poling places and toward the facades to further confuse and demoralize the local voting populace.
2) Steal The Ballot Collection Box
This one’s fun and easy for you working parents. Simply walk into the polling place as you normally would, then instruct your child to cause a diversion by throwing a tantrum while you steal the ballot collection box. Bonus tip: ballots make excellent kindling for camp-fires!
3) Sow Mistrust In Mail-In Voting By Dropping Off Letters Telling People That Their Pets Will Be Receiving Ballots
This election is different than others, what a great opportunity to teach your young-one about taking advantage of unique situations! All you need is a printer and some envelopes and you and your child will be ready to blow a hole through the bow of the flagship of democratic society.
4) Walk Down The Poll Line And Tell People That Voting Was Yesterday
This one is great fun for a child interested in acting! Have your youngster walk down the line at the polling place and tell citizens that voting happened yesterday and they missed it. What a fun way to build your child’s confidence while undermining a constitutionally guaranteed institution.
5) Use Your Adorable Child To Gain The Public’s Trust While You Run For Office, Then Gerrymander The Heck Out Of Your District
This activity is a little more involved, but I think it’s worth it. Everyone knows that politicians who feature their children in their ads get way more votes than politicians who don’t! Get your child involved by having them campaign alongside you and form a campaign message about “America’s Future” around your little one. They can speak at your events and look cute on your posters! However you choose to take advantage of your child, you’ll be guaranteed a win – and that’s when you start relentlessly gerrymandering your district! You’ll help disenfranchise the demographic of your choosing and your child will learn important lessons about the political process and taking advantage of absolutely everything at one’s disposal to erode the foundation that this country is built upon.
So there they are, five exciting ways to get your child excited about voter suppression. Of course, these are just the best ideas I found, feel free to work with your child to be inspired and come up with other, more insidious methods for yourselves. Just remember to have fun doing it!