Congressman Grills Tim Cook on Removing Apps from App Store: “Why’d You Delete That Bird One, Huh? Flippy Bird? I Really Liked That One”

WASHINGTON— At a congressional hearing yesterday, the CEO’s of the four dominant technology companies in the United States were questioned on a number of issues including anti-competitive behavior, election interference, and their presence in China.

In a particularly scathing line of questioning, Rep. Jim Jordan (R) took aim at Tim Cook and the iPhone’s App Store:

“Look, Tim, I’m going to cut right to the chase because I don’t have a lot of time. Why did Apple remove Flippy Bird from the App Store in February of 2014? Is it, perhaps, because Apple was developing a competing product and didn’t want to have to duke it out with another application, so you decided to simply remove it? That’s called anti-competitive market fixing, Mr. Cook, and it happens to be illegal in these United States,” said the representative.

Just seconds into Tim’s response to the congressman’s question, he was interrupted again by Rep. Jordan:

“Tim, I don’t know if you can find it somewhere in your morally bankrupt conscious to have empathy for what I’m going through, but I’m going to tell you anyway. I had a high score of 68 on Flippy Bird, and one day I wake up to find it’s all gone. All that work, all that perseverance… poof. Gone. What do you think about that, Apple Boy?” he continued angrily while wiping tears from his eyes.

At press time, the congressman could be seen after the meeting on a personal call with Tim Cook, who guided him step-by-step to download the game Angry Birds onto Rep. Jordan’s phone, who immediately said that it just simply wasn’t the same experience he remembered while playing Flippy Bird.

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