Quibi CEO: “Even I Don’t Want to Watch This Shit”

Jeffrey Katzenberg, Quibi CEO, opens up to Business Outsider in a recent interview about challenges leading the helm at the fledgling streaming platform.

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA— Jeffrey Katzenberg, CEO of the $1.75B streaming platform, shared his recent challenges managing the startup through the coronavirus pandemic. He pointed to the less than ideal conditions that have stunted Quibi’s ability to grow its customer base.

“With people having more time than ever to consume actual content on Netflix and other networks, our trash simply cannot compete in the current landscape,” said Jeffrey Katzengerg in a recent interview with Business Outsider.

“Don’t get me wrong, I really gave this stuff a chance. But let’s just call it what it is: it’s a hot pile of steaming garbage. What the hell is Quibi? Ten minutes is just too long for comedy sketches and too short for an episode of anything, which explains why this company is headed straight into the fucking ground,” he continued as he frantically responded to emails from his colleagues mid-interview.

“The only way this would have worked is in a world where people have no time to do anything. That was the premise. And with people waking up to what Quibi really is, this thing has turned into a ticking time bomb.”

Katzenberg spared no details on his thoughts about recent show that Quibi released which features various animals that give viewers their daily horoscopes.

“I mean, did you see that horoscope shit we put out last week? And fucking Will Arnett was the EP? Are you kidding me? We’ve got literally billions of dollars of cash, A-list celebrities, and we’re putting out what is effectively a two-minute middle finder to anyone with the brains to realize horoscopes are bullshit,” he continued.

“Someone in his family or whatever must really been into horoscopes. Have you seen it? You should subscribe for a month just to see it. Then unsubscribe. It’s a fucking dumpsterfire. We got Will fucking Arnett to prop up this hippy bullshit, and even the hippies don’t like it. We’re literally getting less views than people that unbox Amazon products on YouTube.”

Professionals across the venture capital industry speculate that Quibi’s subscriber base only justifies a valuation between $100 and $200 million, which has many thinking the company will need to borrow more money in the near future at a substantially lower valuation.

One analyst also opined about the recent content: “After I did my analysis, I shaved off another 5% off of Quibi’s valuation, because on my Quibi horoscope it told me to be more confident in myself, which has totally changed my week.”

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