Twitter CEO Reaffirms More Ads Will Not Degrade Experience Of Reading Your Uncle’s Xenophobic Tirades

SAN FRANCISCO, CA— Twitter’s (NYSE: TWTR) stock plummeted by over 20% yesterday after a disastrous earnings report, following a slowdown in revenue growth and issues with user engagement with ads on the platform.

“We want to make it crystal clear to our stakeholders, customers, and investors that despite changes to ads on the platform, you will still be able to conveniently read and become disgusted by your uncle’s xenophobic tweets with ease,” stated Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey on the earnings call yesterday.

Wall Street has not been kind to Twitter this year: the stock is up just 6% this year, as compared to 20% for the S&P 500 index.

“Look, I think most investors understand that talk is cheap when it comes to earnings calls and corporate strategy,” said a senior equity analyst at Evercore ISI Research in an exclusive interview with Business Outsider.

“What we’re looking for here is action, and at this point many people are still concerned that Twitter may be forced to overrun the platform with ads and ultimately make the experience of reading your old colleague’s and family member’s divisive diatribe much worse as a result,” he continued matter-of-factly.

Many investors speculate that such a change to the platform my cause users to choose other platforms to digest their uncle’s racist rhetoric, hurting Twitter’s revenue and strategic positioning in the social media market.

At press time, Dorsey could be seen yelling at his board members in an attempt to brainstorm new ways to monetize their platform while still enabling its members to write ignorant and bigoted thoughts for their immediate community to be absolutely disgusted by.

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