A New Type Of Microdosing: Palo Alto Kindergarten Teacher Praised For Innovative Teaching Method

Palo Alto, CA — This year, a new class of incoming kindergarten students at a Palo Alto School was gifted with a new kind of curriculum. Lisa Jenkins, 25, started her first year of teaching right with a psychedelic lesson plan, literally, and teachers throughout the San Francisco Bay Area are praising her for her innovative techniques. This new method of microdosing is coined by Jenkins as micro-microdosing™ and has shown to have positive effects on the development of young children.

“I take the children’s safety very seriously. From my Master’s research at Stanford, I have concluded that micro-microdosing is completely safe for children of kindergarten age,” said Jenkins.

Colleagues of Jenkins have quickly followed suit in this new method of advanced education.

“The faculty here can’t believe that we didn’t think of doing this,” said Principal Elena Cartwright when asked about her thoughts on Jenkins’ new teaching tool.

“We all microdose ourselves everyday, now. We even provide emergency doses in the teacher break rooms. All of us have found that microdosing led to a more positive environment for the students and Lisa has found a way to bring the whole school into the modern age,” Cartwright continued.

Teachers may have nothing for praise, but there have been mixed feelings from parents. We reached out to Google Senior Software Engineer Rahul Agarwal, whose child is in Jenkins’ kindergarten class this year. We took a look at his machine learning program, which indicated some downsides with this new teaching method.

“I utilized the k-nearest neighbor algorithm to determine that the possible benefits of micro-microdosing™ may be far greater than hypothesized by Ms. Jenkins. At this rate my son will become smarter and more successful than me, and I cannot allow that to happen.”

Whether or not you agree with this new method of teaching, the Silicon Valley has undoubtedly been at the forefront of technological advance for years.

At press time, it was rumored that Jenkins would receive the Educator of the Month award at the Friday morning assembly next week.

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