“I Am So, So Sorry,” Says Hurricane Dorian

Those affected by the largest hurricane in nearly 30 years can be assured that hurricane Dorian has apologized for the trouble it’s caused.

During a televised public apology Dorian explained, “I really was trying not to be such a bother. It’s just that the high pressure system along the east coast really got me riled up, and I have to admit, I got a little out of control.”

Later on in the speech the storm was questioned about the lives lost in his wake.

“I really wish I could take it all back, I just feel like such a monster. I hope you can all find it in your heart to forgive me,” he said, tearing up.

The storm made sure to communicate it had learned its lesson, “I now see that my actions have the power to hurt people and I promise to never do anything like this again. I am so, so sorry.”

At press time, Dorian’s brother had announced plans to visit next year.

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