Austin, TX— Atlassian employees were utterly baffled yesterday when software developer, Samantha Goldstein, began glitching for seemingly no reason.
“She was working fine all day, I really don’t understand what could have caused this.” Said Mohan Patel, a fellow engineer, “We’ve been trying all day to replicate her behavior on other programmers but nothing’s working. It just doesn’t make sense!”
After 15 minutes of standing completely frozen in the middle of the hall, Goldstein removed her shoes and changed into exercise clothes before loudly shouting information from the company’s database in random order.
“I’m starting to get scared,” said Hiroka Takada, the office manager. “It seemed like a trivial bug at first, I assumed it would go away on its own but it just won’t! I even got the shouting to stop but then she started moving her arms in big circles while stomping around and once I got that fixed she went into a handstand. We just left her there, we’ve got a meeting tomorrow with someone from the New York office who’s run into the same glitch before. We’ll figure it out eventually.”
At press time Samantha appeared to be working fine after a short nap, further confusing her office mates.