Exhibitionist Data Wants To Be Leaked And Exposed To Public

ALBANY, NY— Business Outsider analysts have discovered a dataset that wants to expose itself to the public and be leaked frequently. Unlike most data which is secured behind firewalls, actual walls, and men with guns, this data stored in an Albany server actually wants to be hacked.

Data breaches appear in news headlines constantly, and companies lose billions of dollars to lawsuits and stolen financials information every year. However, this particular dataset is an outlier that has baffled researchers and data scientists across the industry.

“This is really a fascinating behavior, if you take an objective look at it,” said Roy McCarver, a senior data scientist at a technology consulting firm in Michigan.

“Although this data is extremely sensitive and contains credit card and social security numbers, it is extremely aggressive and constantly attempts to expose itself in public places on the internet such as GitHub and Reddit, among others,” he continued.

The company has attempted many solutions to resolve this behavior, including hiring a therapist to analyze the data on a weekly basis, but the problem continues to persist.

At press time, the company that owns the data had locked the server in a closet, isolating it from the rest of the servers in another attempt to prevent further exposures.

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