Unemployed Man’s Heart Sinks As He Realizes New LinkedIn Message Just An Ad

COLUMBUS, OHIO— 26-year-old Jared Olson is regularly praised for his LinkedIn page. He paid over $300 for a professional headshot which is featured as his profile picture. The photo is tastefully accented by a stunning backdrop which displays numbers, dollars, and people to exemplify his diversified skill set in both data analytics and negotiation. He’s been endorsed by over 30 of his connections on hotly demanded skills like leadership, emotional intelligence, organization, and many more.

“People complement me all the time on my LinkedIn profile,” said Mr. Olson excitedly.

“What they don’t know is that I’ve spent over $3,000 on paying my friends to endorse me, the monthly LinkedIn premium fee- you name it. But, I’m confident it’ll pay off eventually once I land a great job,” he said tiredly.

“You’d think I’d have gotten a job by now, but no luck so far. I think my LinkedIn profile needs just a little more work and then I’ll be drowning in offers,” he said while refreshing his browser awaiting the rare new message.

Mr. Olson has been unemployed for roughly two years, with no strong leads to date according to research conducted by Business Outsider analysts.

LinkedIn is a subsidiary of Microsoft (NASDAQ: MSFT) is up roughly 34% year-to-date.

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