Stealthy Startup Quietly Does Nothing

SAN JOSE, CA— A stealthy startup headquartered in San Jose that was long-rumored to be quietly developing an AI software tool with applications in drone management, automated manufacturing, and robotics has announced today that it has not in fact been doing so.

In an exclusive interview with Business Outsider, the chief executive of the company put the rumors to bed.

“Despite the constant stream of rumors in the tech and startup community, we are not developing any sort of tool, application, or software,” said the CEO who wished to remain anonymous.

“Although we have raised over $65 million in venture capital over 3 funding rounds from top-tier venture capital firms and hired graduate and Ph.D. students in data science and robotics, we are just simply not developing anything,” he reiterated.

“Many startups attempt to create an allure of secrecy around their work as a marketing tactic, but our company takes it to the next level because we actually don’t do anything,” said the marketing director at the company.

“But that doesn’t stop our competition from wondering what we could be doing, which, again, is absolutely nothing.”

At press time, employees of the secretive company could be seen sneaking out of their office for a confidential lunch at a private location privy to no one anywhere.

Leave a Reply