Instagram To Remove Like Counts, Attractive People

MENLO PARK, CA— Instagram has recently been testing a new change to the platform in which the number of likes on posts would be hidden from users. Users that Instagram deemed to be too attractive were also removed.

“We hope that by hiding the number of likes users get on their posts and removing attractive people from the platform, people can focus less on how unpopular or hideous they are and instead connect with the people in their networks,” said newly appointed Instagram chief executive Adam Mosseri.

The CTO of Instagram described how the change was implemented: “Essentially, we trained a neural network on thousands of images from attractive people featured in magazines and other media sources, and then instantly deleted users that the algorithm determined to have similar physical features to the initial photos.”

“This ultimately filters out any people that are so attractive that they pose a threat to the self esteem of the majority of our user base, which would of course have major impacts on our bottom line,” he continued while refreshing his Instagram feed on his phone.

The changes have received mixed reviews from users. Some think the change could be a positive force against the often negative comparisons people make with others social media, but others don’t agree with the change.

“I was banned from the platform, which is both frustrating and flattering,” said 26-year-old influencer and gym enthusiast Jared Miller. “It’s pretty awesome to know that Instagram determined I was hot enough to cause a massive reduction in millions of peoples’ self esteem,” said Jared as he was finishing his 4:30 AM workout.

At press time, Instagram influencers across the world could be seen encouraging their followers to comment on their posts to get around the change. Influencers also increased their cocaine usage two-fold to cope with their inability to compare post performance against competing influencers.

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