BuzzFeed CEO Frantically Searches Online For Any Weird Tricks Or Life Hacks To Crush Labor Unions

Photo: Ståle Grut / NRKbeta

SAN FRANCISCO— BuzzFeed journalists in four major urban centers walked out today to protest the company’s decision to not recognize a new journalist labor union. Suffering from ongoing financial troubles, BuzzFeed was forced to cut 15% of its staff earlier this year.

After the news about the protests broke, the chief executive of the company Jonah Peretti could be seen frantically asking his inner circle if they were aware of any weird tricks, life hacks, or otherwise little-known strategies they knew of for busting unions.

“Whether it be a list of three tricks or fifteen hacks, I really don’t care at this point,” he said nervously to his management team as energized chants from the streets below gained in volume.

“I’ll even take a quiz if it would help me determine which type of union-buster I am,” he said and threw his papers across the room in frustration.

At press time, the CEO could be seen scanning a Wikipedia article about unions and tapping his fingers violently on his desk.

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