Juul CEO Takes Up Smoking To Cope With Increased Scrutiny From Regulators

PALO ALTO— Juul Chief Executive Kevin Burns has recently taken up smoking amid increased pressure from regulators like the FDA, which claim that the minimalist technological design and fruity flavors hosted on Juul devices have caused a major increase in underage e-cigarette usage. The company is also facing criticism from the public, which is concerned about the long-term consequences of nicotine consumption on adolescent brains. “Look, it just helps me take the edge off with all of these investors and regulators constantly on my ass about our strategic direction for the product,” said Burns as he took another drag of a menthol cigarette and exhaled the minty smoke through his nose. “Juul was founded to help people quit smoking faster and at a lower cost, and we haven’t changed our mission since we launched the company,” he continued as he coughed and tapped his Marlboro in an ashtray hidden in his office desk drawer. “I’m going to quit after all of this craziness blows over. It’s really not a big deal at all,” he continued while quickly tapping his fingers on his desk and checking his smart watch for emails. At press time, Burns reportedly took a call outside and sparked another cigarette, and was yelling over the phone at his colleague after another roadblock from the FDA had apparently surfaced.

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