Corporate Executives Everywhere Reported To Be Looking Forward To Touching Base On Next Steps

AUSTIN, TX — A new trend has taken the corporate world by storm which is reshaping the way executives communicate. Although seemingly counterintuitive at first, many executives have stopped explicitly describing their responsibilities at the ends of meetings and have opted to instead to use increasingly colloquial phrases such as “circle back”, “next steps”, and “touch base [at the next meeting]”. With businesses across the world vying to accelerate their processes and craft a culture that lends itself to a more productive workforce, this new lingo has caught like wildfire.

Jerald Redding, SVP of Marketing and Business Development at J. M. Smucker Company, is fully embracing this new form of communication: “It’s so convenient. Instead of having to think critically about what I have to do before our next meeting and clearly state it to my team, I can choose from any number of phrases that separates me from any personal ownership of the task,” said Jerald excitedly. “Then, at the next meeting it’s simply wash, rinse, and repeat!”

It’s unclear if this new jargon has the same level of popularity a few steps down the corporate ladder. “It’s just lazy. Plain and simple. Nowadays, whenever I update my boss on my projects, all he ever wants to do is ‘touch base’ with me at a meeting in the future. I don’t get it at all- aren’t we in a meeting right now? What does that mean? I asked for a raise recently, and he just said that he was looking forward to ‘circling back’ with me later on. It’s been two whole months. How big is this circle, exactly?” exclaimed Sanjay, an entry-level software engineer at Yahoo.

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