New Apple Watch Feature Notifies You When You’re Getting Too Close To A Homeless Person

CUPERTINO, CA — One of the most frequently requested features for the Apple Watch Series 4 has finally landed. In a recent software update, the feature uses a combination of light and sound sensors to detect when users are within a 50-foot radius of any homeless person.

The CTO of Apple explained how it works in a recent press release: “This is a truly groundbreaking feature that would not have been possible without our artificial intelligence team. We sampled thousands of audio clips of the homeless in their natural environment, and trained a neural network to identify when watch users are nearing them with up to 98% accuracy.”  

Watch wearers appear to be satisfied with the feature’s performance so far: “It’s so convenient to be able to proactively cross the street and avoid any encounters with the homeless, thanks to my watch” said Cheryl, a San Fransisco-based accountant at a local technology startup and yoga instructor. “I used to have to avert my eyes as I walked past them and pretend not to hear when they’d talk to me, but now I can strategically navigate the city without ever having to be near them.”

Apple is rumored to be working on an add-on to the feature, which would allow one to specify an income level for which the notification would be activated. For example, users could get a notification when they are approaching anyone with an annual salary of less than $40,000. With the new financial services that Apple is offering to customers, it’s possible that this enhancement could be coming in the not so distant future.

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