Amazon Acquires Your Sister

YOUR HOMETOWN, WA—Due to your sister’s transformational development over the summer, Amazon has decided to pursue an acquisition of your sister.  Representatives at Amazon claim …

Portland Crack Farms Stimulate Local Economy

Portland, OR — Measure 110 passed this election season decriminalizing drugs like heroin, cocaine, and crack in Oregon. Many entrepreneurial citizens used the marijuana industry …

Salesforce Acquires Your Mom

SCHENECTADY, NY—Salesforce announced today that it will be strategically entering your personal life by acquiring your mother (NYSE: MOM). Rumors of a pending deal surfaced …