ISIS Rewards True Believers With Patreon Prizes
RAQQA, SYRIA—ISIS leader Amir Muhammad Sa’id Abdal-Rahman al-Mawla announced Friday that the terror organization would set up a Patreon for its most dedicated fans. The …
Kirkland Unveils All-inclusive Thanksgiving Meal Including Turkey, Stuffing, Better Family
BRENTWOOD, TN—Costco (NASDAQ: COST) today announced a new Thanksgiving themed package. It will include everything that’s on the table at a functioning American Thanksgiving dinner, …
This Black Friday Best Buy Offers 75% Off Ventilators
LOS ANGELES, CA—In celebration of their Black Friday sales event, electronics superstore Best Buy (NYSE: BBY) announced it will be offering up to 75% off …
Butterball And Pfizer Partner To Bring Consumers COVID-Vaccinated Turkeys
GARNER, N.C.—Following the announcement of the COVID-19 vaccine, Butterball is racing to gain FDA approval for a COVID-vaccinated turkey. The food-products conglomerate has partnered with …
Desperate To Re-engage Trump Base, Fox News Acquires Playboy
Alarmed that longtime viewers are leaving over accusations of becoming fake news, Fox News (NASDAQ: FOX) acquired Playboy magazine in a bold bet to save …
Measles Virus (MSLS) Announces IPO After Unexpected Fourth-Quarter Gains
The measles virus (NASDAQ: MSLS) will unveil an initial public offering valued at $2.6 billion in the coming weeks, according to sources familiar with the …
After Waiting 9.5-Hours In line, Vans Executive Team Acquires Supreme For $2.1B
New York, NY– At 4:00 am Monday morning executives from skating shoe brand Vans stood in line outside the Supreme flagship store in Lower Manhattan. …
Vimeo Restructures Business Model Around Temporary Youtube Outages
New York, NY—Immediately following Youtube’s short shutdown Wednesday, Vimeo announced a new business model which would rely exclusively on traffic spikes from temporary Youtube outages. …
Purell® Unveils 12 Year Oak Cask Aged Hand Sanitizer
With a COVID vaccine on the horizon, Purell® owner GOJO Industries has a new plan to maintain their record-high profits: a top shelf hand sanitizer …
Guitar Center Announces ‘Turn It Up To 11’ Sale To Celebrate Filing For Ch. 11 Bankruptcy
Westlake Village, CA—Following the announcement of Chapter 11 bankruptcy, music retailer Guitar Center announced it would be slashing prices in its largest-ever sales event. The …